My surrogate called me yesterday morning to tell me she took a HPT and it was negative. I told her it was still too early, blah, blah, blah.....
I asked her not to even test again until Wed. or Thurs.
Meanwhile, I know it's really not too early. The test she took claims to pick up something like 83% of pregnancies at 11 DPO. I can't say the BFN comes as a surprise to me, but it does make me really concerned because that means, out of all the embryos we had from that cycle we did (when I was 2 years younger) none of the embryos were normal. I guess I could make the case that maybe one of the 3 that were transferred to me on the fresh cycle were normal but, if I have an implantation/carrier problem, then we failed anyway. I don't think I believe that though. If there had been a normal one in there, it seems like I at least would have had a chemical pregnancy. The other 5 blasts were transferred to my surrogate between these 2 transfers. Last cycle she got pregnant but miscarried as the embryo turned out to be abnormal. This time, it looks like she won't get pregnant at all.
What was it about my first 2 cycles in Vegas that allowed me to have normal embryos? It seems those were the only 2 attempts I have actually had a few normal ones. Of course, I have no way of knowing if they were all really normal. Some might have fallen into the 20% that test normal but are actually abnormal. I do know, without doubt, that the one I got pregnant with yet miscarried was truly normal since the testing from the D&C reconfirmed it. Yet, maybe that was the only normal embryo we've ever really had......in which case the odds of getting another would be extremely slim.
While I didn't expect anything more than a negative result for this transfer, the whole thing is just making me feel very pessimistic about another cycle accomplishing anything. I can't see this ever working for us and am starting to feel like all I'm really doing is buying time because DH and I can't seem to agree on what we'd do if this doesn't work.
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My husband and I started trying to have children in 2003. After trying for a year without success and visiting several Dr's we discovered our only hope was IVF with ICSI. We were optimistic as we began the process. Ours was supposed to be an easy case and 1 attempt (2 max!) would surely do the trick. Now, 4 years and 8 fresh IVF cycles and 7 frozen cycles later (3 of which we used a GS for), optimism has faded. Yet, I just can't bring myself to give up....at least not yet.
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