They match

The title pretty much says it all. I got the result today and my surrogate and DH have the DQ/HLA match.

My Dr. said he strongly advises against my using her. I even asked him if the choice came down to transferring to myself or to this surrogate, what would he advise and he said definitely transferring them to me. To put this in perspective, I had 16 embryos (all were Day 5 or 6 except 3 which were Day 3) transferred to myself with only one chemical pregnancy before switching to his clinic. I then had two transfers of embryos that were tested to be free of abnormalities and, after 2 normal ones were transferred, I became pregnant with a singleton and miscarried at around 8 1/2 weeks. Then, I transferred 1 tested embryo and had a short lived chemical pregnancy. So, he is saying he would rather transfer to me than to a lady who has had 5 children successfully. Needless to say, that makes me think he really believes this HLA matching issue is a very serious problem. Part of me would just like to ignore him and proceed with the transfer but then, if it didn't work, I would have it in my head that this was the reason. We went to this Dr. because he is an expert with difficult cases so it seems like it'd be foolish to then ignore his advice.

I've been crying for the last couple hours. I just don't know what to do now. I don't think transferring to myself is even an option at this point. We can't take any chances with our last embryos....especially the one that is tested. It seems so overwhelming to go all the way back to Square one with trying to find a surrogate I can trust and going through all the intial stages of getting things set up.

Meanwhile, I still have to tell my surrogate about this. She is at work right now. I'm dreading having to tell her. She has been so great and we've really become good friends throughout all of this. I felt so comfortable having her do this for us. I know she really wanted to give us our children. She knew that doing a transfer at this clinic hinged on this test result, but neither of us ever thought we'd be this unlucky.