I'm back

I know it's been a long time since I've written. I've probably lost the few readers I had by this time.

Things have just been very busy. I've been trying to cram a bunch of things in before I end up absorbed with all of the IVF issues again. I didn't want to even think about IVF for awhile so that meant taking a little break from this blog. We went to visit DH's mom again for a couple days. My Dad visited for a week and I had a great time with him here....although I felt sort of bad having my Dad visit when DH no longer has his, but he assured me that he loves my Dad and didn't want me to not have him visit. Next weekend we're going to VT for my mom's birthday.

We will go to Vegas Aug. 25-27 for the transfer to my GS. The more I get to know her, the more I see what an amazing person she is and I feel so lucky to have her doing this for us. I just hope one of our embryos cooperates. I feel a huge amount of pressure to have this work......even more than usual. For one, these are the last embryos we have frozen anywhere. In the past, we've always had some as a back up. Even if I might not have had high hopes for them, at least there was some sort of chance left. For another, my MIL is so hopeful of this working. I know it'd mean so much to her and the last thing she needs in her present emotional state is bad news. The same could be said for DH. So, I really almost am afraid to even do this for fear of creating bad news.

We are still planning to do the fresh cycle in October even though I'm very uncertain about whether it's the right thing or not. I talked it out with my MIL and she made me promise we'd go ahead with it as we had originally planned. It's just that so much has changed since then. If the transfer to my surrogate doesn't work this time, how much hope would I have of not only getting more normal embryos in another fresh cycle (especially considering I didn't the last time around and I'm that much older now) but then also having the transfer work? Right. Not much.