Should have known better than to hope

Well, as of this morning's ultrasound at 8 weeks 5 days, there was no longer a heartbeat and
the things had stopped growing. Ironically, I had started to feel more calm about things and like there was a chance things might work out. I should have known better than to let my guard down.

I have no idea what happened. The heartbeat was very strong at the last ultrasound. The OB said that, since the embryos were tested for abnormalities prior to transfer, that was an unlikely cause. He thought that maybe the bad location resulted in a lack of blood supply but I guess I'll never know for sure. It makes things very complicated because I don't know whether I need a surrogate or not on a next attempt. I'm really starting to feel like my body is hopeless when it comes to carrying a pregnancy even though none of the Dr.'s have been able to find anything wrong with me.

I'm still in shock. I can't believe that after all this time and effort we're right back where we started again.