From the moment the tested embryo was determined not to have thawed properly, I knew there was very little hope for this cycle. And, actually, DH and I are relieved just to have it
be a flat out BFN vs. a short lived BFP.
We set up our adoption home study appointment for next weekend. If it seems to some of you that I'm jumping into adoption alarmingly fast, that's not really the case. If it works out for us, I have a feeling I'll be kicking myself for having been so slow to head in that direction. DH and I went into IVF saying that we'd adopt if it didn't work out for us. I don't think either of us banked on doing as many cycles as we did and spending so many years. It's just that we always seemed so close to having success.
There was a point along the way where I started feeling ready to give up on IVF, but DH wasn't there yet. Then, I think he was there at one point, but I wasn't. I didn't want to pressure him into adoption. I knew adoption was something we both had to feel fully ready for at the same time. Recently, DH started bringing it up as something he really wants to move ahead with. I'm not going to say I don't have fears about adopting. It seems like a such a huge leap of faith but, if I trust my heart and what others who have adopted tell me, we're probably going to come out the other side wishing we had just done it sooner. I've spent years thinking about it, reading about it and talking with people who have adopted so it's not like I'm going into it blindly by any means. Even so, I'm just nervous about starting a whole new process and of the new types of disappointments that might be out there waiting for us.
7 comments:
Sorry to read of the negative, but, very glad to hear you're moving onto adoption. I don't think it's quick, I move quickly too, why do I need to contemplate forever before moving onto the next step of building my family?
Good luck with the home study
Staci -- I'm so sorry about the outcome of this cycle....
If you have questions I might be able to help you with on the homestudy or adoption stuff, just ask.... in case you don't have my email....alleensantana@yahoo.com
Sorry to hear about the failed surrogate cycle. Good to hear that you are moving on to adoption. I know how difficult a decision it is and it was right for you to wait until both of you were ready. Good luck to you.
My condolences on the failed surrogate cycle. I hope that the adoption process is smooth and rewarding for you. Adoption has been a wonderful experience for my own family.
I just came through L&F and am so sorry about your loss this cycle.
If you need any advice on homestudies or adoption. We just adopted a baby girl in July. The whole process from the day we filled out the application to the day she was born was 9 months and 1 day.
Just popping in to wish you luck with this newest part of your journey towards parenthood. I hope it's smooth and brings you all the joy you deserve at the end of it.
Hi Staci...just been thinking about you. I am praying for you both in this next season of life. One day at a time...actually I think I need to focus on one minute at a time :) ...with lots of love and hugs! Debbie at nemo's world
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