Ok, well the last few days have been really rough.
As usual, Kobi has been a big comfort to me. He's been by my side even more than normal. Except this morning he took it a little too far when he almost jumped on the treadmill with me. Fortunately, I was able to hit the stop button and block him just in time.
DH was really surprised by how hard I was taking the news of the failed cycle because we had known from the start that the chances of it working were slim. As I tried to explain to him, it's not so much the failed cycle as it is getting bad news yet again. And it was right on top of the news about the Vegas surrogate I hoped to work with having the match with my DH. I can only take so much. I guess part of me is always holding out hope for the kind of miracles I see happen to others. Part of me remains convinced (in spite of only evidence to the contrary) that if you persist in getting something you want in life, you'll eventually succeed.
As I mentioned in my prior post, I do have another possibility for a surrogate in Vegas. Unfortunately, it's starting to look like it may not work out either because her medical insurance
has a very clear surrogacy exclusion. And, so far, the only insurance policy we have found that would cover the maternity for a surrogate costs upward of $ 25,000. And, it would end up being several thousand even if the transfer didn't work due to the application fee and administrative fee. Add this to the $ 20,000 which gets paid to the surrogate herself, the $ 6,500 to the agency, probably $ 5,000 to the attorney for contracts, $ 2,000 to the clinic for their "surrogate coordination fee"....
It's just crazy.
Anyway, DH and I are heading out to the beach. I definitely need to get out of the house even though it's hard to motivate myself to do anything right now.
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2 comments:
I am so sorry about everything you've had to deal with in the last few days, especially the BFN. It's so unfair that it costs some of us so much to even try to have a decent chance at having a family. I hope you have a relaxing, distracting time at the beach.
Here from NLCM...and i feel your pain, just looking at the amount of money that goes into having a baby.. I have the same pain but i tell myself that i need to try and persist.
I hope you had a good time at the beach..and big hugs...
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